Homestay Week 3: Progress Amidst Frustration

I’m frustrated. And part of my frustration stems from the fact that I thought today was going to be a good day. It’s Sunday, which meant I got to sleep while my family was at church. I never thought that I would treasure the occasional day when I got to wake up at 8:00, especially since waking up at 8:00 had been the standard over the past year. I felt amazingly refreshed, albeit a bit sore from doing laundry and Ultimate Frisbee. It should have been a good day.

Minha mae got home from church around 11:00 or 11:30. Minha Mae, Anastasia and I had what I think was brunch. I learned how to make a basic salad dressing – oil (of course), lime juice, and salt. It’s not all the bad, but I could really go for a good Caesar or Italian dressing right about now. I thought that the cravings were supposed to go away as we became more removed from the comforts we used to enjoy, but on a day like today, they just seem to occupy my mind.

Right after we had brunch, we started working on lunch. I learned how to make tomato sauce, a new variation of rice, and carne asada – which I hope will be a staple of my diet. I don’t know why, but I was the only one eating lunch. I found this really strange.

And yet, I was glad to be sitting at a table alone, not having to listen to Portuguese I don’t understand. This is the root of my frustration and today was the day it just boiled over. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration or over-generalization to say that Americans like things fast – fast food, fast cars, fast internet. But one thing that just doesn’t come fast is language – especially when your teachers and your family talk way beyond your level. You can’t talk to a first grader at the university level. And that’s pretty much how I feel right now – a person with first grade language capability being spoken to at a university level. Not fully understanding what is happening only compounds other problems; everything becomes more frustrating when you are not in the know.

I think the worst part is there really isn’t much of an escape. I can’t just get in my car and drive to La Jolla Shores and ignore the rest of the world. So for today, I’ve wrapped myself in music and old magazines, because as I write this, I just can’t fully handle life as it is.

I should note, in fairness to myself and minha mae, that after a small personal break, I had a great conversation with her about – ironically – how frustrated I was with not understanding everything and not being able to get my point across. Of course, in that conversation, I understood exactly what she said and didn’t have much problem conveying my points.

The only good thing about having a bad day is that it can’t get much worse the next day. And although Monday was rough, albeit for different reasons, it was still significantly better. After having the good conversation with minha mae, I was able to sleep comfortably, so I woke up refreshed. This Monday didn’t have the typical Monday feel. Class moved by quickly. And on the way to our late morning session, I had a great conversation – both comprehending and speaking – with my teacher. He spoke at just the right speed: not so fast that I couldn’t understand, not so slow that I felt like a four year old. I guess that makes two really good conversations in a row.

The late morning session went by quickly. We got our first practice in lesson planning, which was nothing new for me as I had done this for the better part of last year. But for the majority of the English teacher group, this was a good introduction. I ate lunch during the tail end of the session so I could maximize my time catching up on the news at the one internet café here in Namaacha. And by maximize my time, I mean, giving myself the most possible time at the café – not necessarily working – considering I’m probably going to have to wait for one of the two computers. For the 90 minutes I spent at the café, I got to use a computer for 15 minutes – enough time, but definitely rushed. I gave myself enough time to get to the afternoon session. And that’s when the mayhem began.

I returned to where the previous session was, but no one was there. I ran into a Peace Corps car to ask where my group was; I was told that they were by the mercado, so I walked in that direction. On the way, I ran into another stranded Trainee who didn’t know where her group was. Finally, something she said triggered where I was supposed to meet. I moved as quickly as I could down the hill to get to the place where we met in the morning, but no one was there. I made my way through the bairro, asking people if they new where the other “brancos” went. I finally figured out that they headed to minha casa. 45 minutes late, I got to my house, with the other Trainees in my language group. I explained what happened, and we got to working. I tried to apologize but they wouldn’t let me; I guess when you end up at minha casa, there’s no need to apologize.

After running the Namaacha 10k around town, and correcting homework in the afternoon session, I got a chance to settle down and shower. People here typically take at least two showers a day – one before breakfast and one before dinner. Usually, I don’t need two showers a day, although I have yet to tell my family that I only need one. But today, a second shower was not only wanted – it was absolutely necessary.

Just before dinner I did my nightly Su Doku with my sisters. They seem to be figuring it out a lot faster now, and they can see how pieces start to come together. By the end of the ten weeks, they will be masters.

Tuesday started out rough. No one in our language class was clicking, and on top of it, we got our tests back. He was not too thrilled with our results, although I was personally satisfied with how I did. There is a lot of pressure to learn the language, and most of that pressure comes from us, the Trainees. We all want – and need – to learn the language as quickly as possible, but learning a language in a couple weeks is not easy. After language class, we caught a ride to our late morning session, regarding gender roles in Mozambique. It was well-noted that gender roles here are a lot more defined than they are in the United States, especially away from the cities.

The afternoon was disorganized; we headed to a house with good shade for our language application session, although it was mostly just a question and answer session on what we wanted to know. It was probably for the better. None of us were really in the mood.

As I walked back, I passed the house of another Trainee, who was outside sitting with her “sister.” I dropped by, cooled down, and had a great conversation with the two of them. Going between Portuguese and English was both fun and rewarding. It was nice to be able to get that conversation in for the day. I ran home after to try to keep the language mojo going, and was able to put it together pretty well with minha mae. I know at any moment though that it can go back to square one very quickly.

Since it was Tuesday, that meant family night for me. I got to talk extensively with my dad and my brother, which really carried me through the night. Being able to talk to family only once or twice a week is tough, especially when there is so much to say on both ends. But talking rarely is a lot better than not talking at all. And my tomorrow will be better because of those conversations.

Wednesday was inefficient for the better part of the day. Our language group seems to have hit a brick wall. There’s a lot of material being thrown at us in a very disorganized way, so we’re probably not learning as quickly as we should be. Regardless, we got through language class and made the trek to our late morning session, which was about English grammar. As with the language class, this session could have been done in a streamlined manner, but instead, we may have ended up more confused than where we started.

After lunch, the language group made its way toward the fronteira – the border of Mozambique and Swaziland – where the chapas (the main mode of transportation here) stops. We walked down the road in 105 degree heat, stood at the station and talked for about 15 minutes, turned around, and left. They could have just told us that the station was at the end of the road, but that would have been way too easy. With our afternoon effectively wasted, and all of us melting in the heat, our language group headed to a barraca for a cold drink.

I returned to my house around 4:00 in the afternoon and, over tea, had an hour-long conversation with minha mae like Portuguese was my first language. I kept laughing to myself, thinking it shouldn’t be this easy, but it was. I think I finally broke through that first barrier of comprehension.

One of the advantages of having taught a second language is that I have some understanding of the progress that a student goes through when learning a new language. At the first, it is very easy to learn new words, because everything is new. But as one learns more, the learning curve decelerates, and it actually becomes a little harder to learn; in other words, students hit plateaus, accelerate, and then plateau again. I think I broke through that first plateau because the conversations – both on the speaking side and comprehension side – are coming more easily.

As dusk turned to night, the rains looked as if they were going to come. The wind picked up, and thunder could be heard in the distance. Right before dinner, a slight shower fell, but nothing substantial. Hopefully it will rain overnight.

After dinner, I spoke with my mom for a little while. Talking to family two nights in a row is a treat. It has definitely helped this week move a little faster than usual. I turned in early, exhausted from a day of a lot of walking in the heat on little sleep, courtesy of crazy Larium dreams last night.

The clouds that rolled in last night stuck around throughout the day today, bringing about a sensation we haven’t felt in weeks – coldness. I’ve never been so happy to put on a jacket. The break from the incessant heat was welcomed by just about everybody. It was really nice to have a day where I wasn’t constantly dripping in sweat.

Our language group struggled through yet another tedious and ambiguous grammar lesson. We have spent so much time on the tedium of this language that we are still missing a lot of the more important parts of speech, verb tenses, and vocabulary that we really need to know. The late morning session was just as bad – a fairly unproductive lesson on teaching with few resources. The frustration with the lack of learning has built up within a lot of people over the last couple of days. It is difficult because most of us are recent college graduates who are used to a fast learning curve and clarity; over the last couple of days, we have received neither.

The afternoon went by much better. After being divided all week – which drives us all a little crazy – we were reunited with the biology and chemistry teachers for a talk about the role of teachers in Mozambican communities. This was actually a productive session for us. There was a clear purpose and it was run well. Our language group stuck around after for our language application for the day – talking for a couple minutes on the topic of our choice. This was, I think, the first productive language application session we’ve had in weeks. And with the all of the Trainees being together tomorrow, it seems this week might yet improve.

Just before dinner, I talked with my sister, marking three days in a row of talking to family. It’s nice to hear voices from home, as it lets us know that the world we left hasn’t completely stopped. I ate in utter silence, as minha mae was out of town, and the only people at the dinner table were my two sisters and me. It is amazing, though, how much can be said in stares and smiles.

I was excited for Hub Day because I got to see a lot of people I don’t regularly don’t see. The health group has a lot of cool people that us teachers only get to see once a week. After our final language class with our current teacher, all of the trainees assembled for a couple lectures on how to deal – and not deal – with the stress that comes with being a Volunteer in the Peace Corps. A lot of stuff was right out of college orientation – be sure to talk to people, don’t drink excessively, etc. Still, it’s good to know that the Medical Office has our backs.

We opted to shorten lunch so we could get to our afternoon session on technology. We had been waiting all week for this session because this was the session where we would learn to use our future internet phones with our laptops. This only built up the anticipation for our trip to Maputo tomorrow to get our phones.

A light rain blew in right around dinner time – not enough to make a huge difference, but enough that I needed to put on sweat pants. And the clouds stuck around through the morning, meaning it would be a cool day. We were very excited to head into Maputo, knowing that cell phones and pizza were in our immediate future. We left Namaacha for Maputo around 7:15 – 45 minutes later than when we wanted to leave – via chapa, an over-packed van. I had flashbacks to Ghana, which has a nearly identical transportation system; it brought a smile to my face, in spite of the fact that I had less room than a sardine in a can.

I won’t get into all the details, but the day didn’t go as well as we would have liked. I got my cell phone, although not one with internet – there were few in stock and prices were too high for me – but two out of four people who wanted phones weren’t able to get them, leading to some very sad faces and frustration. And yes, we had pizza, which was surprisingly good. But although we had nearly six hours in the city, very little got done. This also reminded me of Ghana, where one could spend all day trying to get one thing done and take two steps backward. I tried to keep things in perspective, but for the two who didn’t get a cell phone at all, this was hard to do. Needless to say, it was not a fun chapa ride back to Namaacha.

This was a tough week in general, and I think a lot of people share the sentiment. A bit of anxiety is starting to build within us, and at the forefront of that is language and knowledge regarding our jobs. And when the going is rough, everything goes wrong. In spite of the struggles, though, progress is being made. I can feel it when I have conversations because the conversations keep getting easier. Let’s just hope that the weeks get easier also.