Six Months at Site: Shout into the Darkness, Squeeze out Sparks of Light

Six months. One-fourth of the way done in Machanga. One-third of the way done with Mozambique. It’s a nice milestone. For half a year now, we have lived in the mato (the bush), the only muzungus in sight. And the truth is, even though there are still difficulties here, our lives are pretty easy.

Of course, there are still small obstacles, with our Portuguese – or our Mozambican Portuguese – still not up to par or with all the travel that we have to do just to get simple iteas. For now, the language remains the greatest frustration: we know that our Portuguese is pretty good because we have no problem speaking with native Portuguese speakers, but we still struggle to communicate some of the most basic ideas with colleagues and friends.

School also comes with its frustrations. There are still times – especially after giving an exam – that I feel like what I’ve been assigned to do here is pretty worthless. But I’ve accepted the fact that there are only so many things I can control, and the things that I can control, I should. What I can control the most at this point are the things I do outside of my assignment. And that is when I feel best about what I’m doing.

For example, one of my classes asked me if I could help them with math. Even after my long days of teaching, I am excited to help them with math, and I think they are happy to receive my help. It’s a situation where everyone wins: I get my best Portuguese workout, they improve at math, and we have a pretty good time doing it. It’s not in my job description to teach math, but to put it simply, we are here because we want to help.

Our helping is not just limited to students. I was approached by one teacher about trying to acquire a computer. I told him I would do my best. Then another teacher wanted one. In the end, it became its own project. Now, with the help of my mom and a wonderful non-profit, we will have computers coming here in July. It’s exciting – and it will be more exciting after I teach them how to work with them.

And in spite of the pains that my students often give me – whether it is their attempts at cheating or lack of participation – they are for the most part pretty good. On the whole, I don’t know how much they are retaining. But it can be seen in individual cases. It’s evident when kids come borrow dictionaries and hold on to them for weeks, or when they ask for magazines, or when they come over to the house just to practice speaking. Even if they butcher the language, it doesn’t matter – they are trying, even though they sure as hell don’t have to. And when they get it right, it’s even better. It may be just a small percentage who listen, who get it, who care. But that’s what my job is – give what I can, and let them take what they want. All I can do is shout into the darkness and squeeze out those sparks of light.